Lately, I've been writing desperate love songs. Haha kidding, the song lyrics just decided to flow with what I was writing. Anyways, this last week I have found myself creating sub-personalities in an effort to better communicate and bond with groups that I've interacted with. I saw my personality alter a little bit from being with the baseball team and later within the New Student Mentor program. Although I'm not changing who I am and believe myself to be, I am creating an impression that provides me with greater advantages into whichever group I'm interacting with.
With respect to my relationship with the baseball team, I feel that I've had to use a dramaturgy performance in order to achieve the requirements of that situation. Sometimes it seems I need to place myself in a different role to connect and achieve the goals set forth by myself and the group. I feel the need to go off a script in an attempt to interact and form relationships with other players. There is a stereotype of what a baseball player should look like and how they should act; I, frankly, don't represent that stereotype. I will be the first to admit that I am not great at baseball, or any other sport for that matter. However, I will be quick to back it up that I am a great athlete and sometimes being an athlete is better than specializing in a single sport. It's taking time, but I am using my abilities to fit the requirements of the stereotypical baseball player.
I was recently accepted to the position of New Student Mentor and have had only one full group interaction with other NSMs. Even with only having the one group meeting, I was quick to realize that I don't have to use impression management to create a favorable outlook on myself. One thing that the NSM position believes strongly in is that one will not be judged on what they look like or how they act. We are all beautiful individuals and no one has the right to influence us into being anything more than we are. Meeting these complete strangers for the first time was quite nerve-racking at first, but as the day (and night) went on, I became so relaxed and confident with myself and my abilities that I was willing to share anything with anyone in the group. Social status, race, gender, disability, or wealth have no effect on the person we see someone as in the group. Embarrassment is not something that occurs often within the NSMs. We are people who make mistakes and are willing to make fools of ourselves to have some fun!
Being a part of a group such as the NSMs will do wonders for me because I will tear away from the impression management process instilled in me by society. There may be a need one day to achieve a favorable outcome in order to meet requirements of a situation, but today in this college setting, I don't believe that I need to be tied down by what society wants me to do and how they think I should act and think. Where I come from, what I enjoy doing, what I wear, and how I act are all things that no one but me should have the right to say I need to change. I am me, that's all I want.
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